Tips for Choosing Life Couple

Between the vote and be elected. That's real life. This is because human life in this world is often colored by a process of mutual life choice after another, which is always present in two conditions: Choosing or selected! And one fact of life that we can not avoid is the necessity for choosing a husband or wife as a companion to his life in the world even in the afterlife.

What to Look For First problem.
In forming a family sakinah, mawaddah, warahmah, the selection of a life partner is the first gate that must be passed correctly before entering the real Islamic family institution, so the next trip easier and more beautiful to pass.

Therefore Islam strongly emphasizes system that guided the selection of a life partner to Islamic values. The goal for a righteous man will get shalihah woman, and vice versa. Allah says:

"Women who are vile to vile men, and vile men are for vile women (too), and both women are Untk good man and a good man is for women who either (too) "(Surat an-Nuur: 26).

Why We Should Selective?
Accuracy choose a life partner will determine the success of the journey of a slave in the world and the hereafter. Especially considering marriage is a form of unification of two different types of opponents in many ways, both good and evil certainly has that level are also different from each other.

Is a right and an obligation for every Muslim and Muslimah to look for a companion that will really open the door for her kindness and inviting pleasure of his Lord and this can only be achieved when beginning the process of selecting candidates for selective mate, which is based on Islamic fervor as the basis of a marriage. Remember! After marriage, there is no other choice for us, except for two things: get peace of a happy household or acquire the destructive misery. Na'udzubillahi min dzaalik!

As a result of Picking

Due to wrong in choosing a life partner, many couples are facing difficulties and even his life is not happy, even divorce and mutually exchange partner into something that is common. Today, so many cases of disputes within a family, of a conflict that shaped the argument up with physical abuse and even murder, are caused by errors in the initial steps to form households.

Social climate in our society who do tend to permissive and not Islamic, is the main cause that gave birth to marriage solely limited to boost appetite. These benchmarks are rarely life partner search-oriented religious values. But often only limited to physical beauty, the abundance of material and noble status in the community, or even just because it was already in love hearts which have caused the eyes to be blind to the goodness and badness of the beloved.

If the wedding happens only because such a boost appetite, it is only natural that many warring couples mereasa difficulty completing their domestic problems Islami, because the process of their wedding just happens instinctively, without any foundation values ​​that started to Islamization. Then how is it possible to go back to the Qur'an and Sunnah, whereas they previously did not depart from them? Then choose a life partner on the basis of Islamic values ​​is an important attitude, and be careful in choosing a life partner is a must for us, keep in mind the advice of Luqman Al-Hakim the following:

"O my son, fear the evil woman because she makes you go gray before his time. And women who are not afraid either because they do not invite you to the good, and let you take care of them look good. "
(Similarly for Women be careful in looking for a mate).

Who Should We Choose?

Source: google
Islam has taught carefully on the basis of what we have to choose our life partner:

"Married women on the basis of four cases: because of his wealth, for her beauty, because of the offspring, and k arena of religion. Whoever chose his religion, then he is lucky. "(Narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim).

So it is clear to us that there are four fundamental in determining who should we choose to be our spouse, yakhi wealth, beauty, and moral and religious descent. And everything in between, then morality and religion to guarantee peace and happiness, otherwise neglect even the denial of these problems will cause fitnah and great damage to the perpetrators. How wonderful is when all of them gathered in a person a servant of God.

Choose The Taqwa, the Other New
The first is about wealth
This is indeed the main, even Rasullah saw was a most generous alms, but marriage is not just a mere commercial transactions, even those who are married God threatened solely because they expect wealth to poverty:

"Whoever marries a woman from his property, Allah will not add it unless indigence .." (Narrated by Ibn Hibban).

The second is a beauty
It also does is fine and like beauty is human nature, even God himself is beautiful and loves beauty, but the marriage was not just the sheer pleasure of the eye. Surely beauty is a gift of God to His servant, that would certainly be taken slowly with his servant age. Because there is no beauty that berkekalan in this mortal world.

"Do not marry a woman for her beauty, because beauty will be gone and you do not marry them because of their wealth, the treasure because it will make him proud. But marry them because of their religion, because a black slave woman and the more mainstream religion. "(Narrated by Ibn Majah).

The third is the offspring,
Similarly, it is also the main thing, but the marriage was not just a proud lineage that actually leads to disease bias 'ashobiyah'. Even Allah threatens those who marry someone just to pursue descent, with humility instead of giving glory.

"Whoever marries a woman because of his descendants, God is not going to add except humility ..." (Narrated by Ibn Hibban)

And the fourth is the morals and religion,
This is the most important factor, which may not be so, there must be a potential partner in our lives. The better a person's morals and religion, it is as if the more obvious happiness of a household has been stretched before us. Morals and religion here is not limited to science and rhetoric or memorizing many in the head, but includes words and actions as a reflection of one's heart that has been inherent in his personality, and this is true TAQWA!.

How lucky is married to a devoted servant, because he was good at honoring his life partner and be very careful of menzhaliminya, Hasan ibn Ali as the answer when someone asks. "I have a girl, to whom do you think I should marry her?" So Hasan replied. "He Nikahkanlah man devoted to God. If he loves her, he will respect it, and if he will not be angry menzhaliminya.

And conversely a rejection of men or women who fear Him, like denying yourself a favor and replace it with the damage:

Consider the following two hadith:
: "If a man comes to you (to apply), you know he's looking good morals and religion then you refuse, then so be libel for you and great damage," (Narrated by Ibn Majah).

: "If you have been dating a woman whose religious and moral well then marry him. If you marry a woman is not based on religion and morals, then she would be slander and causing extensive damage. "(Narrated by At-Tirmidhi).

Finally the ideal marriage is really a balance of all these factors, with morals and religion as the most important parameter, since it is in choosing a life partner, do not let our intentions just looking for beauty or descent or possessions just to leave the criteria of piety, so that there is no blessing will we get in our homes someday.

Source: google
 "Whoever marries a woman from his property, Allah will not add it unless kafakiran. Whoever marries a woman because to close my eyes, keeping his cock and establish kinship, Allah will bless him. "(Narrated by Ibn Hibban).

Narrowing Options For Primacy
No less a person faced with many options in terms of family life and morality and religion at par, much less a problem in one's faith is difficult to detect in a short time. Then to find a virtue, sometimes it needs to be narrowed choice, because the more options it will be increasingly difficult for us to choose the best. And according to religious spectacles that would be in harmony with nature and a human instinct. There are some virtues that bias to be considered in choosing a life partner.

1. Option sekufu
"Choose the women who will give birth to your children and marry a woman who sekufu (or equivalent) and nikahlah with them." (Narrated by Ibn Majah, Al Hakim, and Al Bayhaqi).

Al kafa'ah are issues of compatibility and similarity between marriage partners is considered to be most closely, such as the consideration of the problem: age, lineage, honor, profession, or level of education. The scholars have suggested that the ideal man to marry a woman with the same level or below, while a woman should be married to men who have the same level or above.

But it is important to understand, that the level of social equality is not an absolute requirement in a process of marriage, because Islam itself is a religion without a class, which leveled all his servants, with the exception of ketakwaanya.

Even if he becomes a consideration, is merely an act of prudence, so that later no regrets in the future that ultimately bias more painful, because it's real human heart is often unstable and volatile. And the problem is, it is actually a procedure of worldly wisdom that can still be approved if there is an agreement between two parties.

2. Choosing the loving and fertile
"Marry women who are loving and giving lots of offspring (infertile) because I will be proud of the number of future ummah Day of Judgment" (Narrated by Ahmad).

Servant of a loving and loving is a servant who has a feeling tone (affect) is smooth and controlled emotion. We can identify whether a person including these criteria through speech, deed or eyes, either excited or disappointed when his he, all of which can give you an idea of ​​how personality and its heart's content. Is filled with tenderness and affection? Or is filled with rudeness, hatred and falsehood.

Meanwhile they are easily able to know of how many brothers or family ties, or of the type of disease that affects her offspring inhibitors or his brother and family ties.

3. Choosing distant relatives
The advice of the Prophet. "Do not marry a close relative, because it can result in producing children and physically weak mind." And in addition to maintaining the quality of the offspring inherited disease, marry them coming away from our families will increase the bond of kinship with others, as well as providing their own happiness when have to travel far for mutual friendship.

4. Selecting the girls
"Marry the girl's mouth because it is softer, fuller her womb, and did not think to diverge, and willing to what is yours." (Narrated by Ibn Majah. Uwaimir bin Al Bayhaqi from Saidah).

Marriage with a girl who is still more important than the widow, as it can make the relationship more closely and together, they are more easily seduced and Joking and having fun, more loyal and receiving, as well as fewer mental and psychological burden for us. All of this has the impression and adds its own pleasure in the beauty of the home.

Narrow the choice is not difficult choice
So really there is no prohibition to narrow our choices in canoes reach a peace, during his footing remains guided by Islamic values. However, this is not an absolute desire to do let alone enforced.

Under certain conditions, marry a man from one side sekufu considered, or the lack of fertility, or that masaih close relative of, or a widow, is not an act that is minus in Islam, if not more important, when there is a strong reason to do.

The bottom line is that this option is not the same narrow with difficult choices. If you narrow down the selection based on the recommendation by the virtue of religion, satisfaction and gratitude to god for the blessings of a servant of God very much, it is the recommended choice complicates lust for arrogance, pride and sheer carnal satisfaction. So it is very much different between them!.